Today, I'm back in Asia and once again facing the cultural differences between the culture and social norms in East Asia and in the US. I wonder how my perspective on/experience with this cultural gap may be different if I wasn't an Asian woman?
You see, I spent the past two years in Korea as a middle-aged graduate student. During this time, I faced a lot of difficult but interesting (and ultimately educational) challenges during my time here. I'll share some of those misadventures at a later time...
Back to today's musing. After expressing some of my frustration with my apparent inability to fully integrate into the society here, my parents offered me some...interesting advice. I need to change who I am. If I try hard enough, you can make anyone and everyone accept you.
I would have to disagree. I don't think you can nor should behave differently just so others accept you because if you're not being true to who you are, are those people really accepting YOU? And some people are just not able or ready to accept differences in others. In the midst of this discussion with my parents, the US Open Tennis tournament was playing on TV and Serena Williams was battling it out with some skinny white girl (sorry, I didn't take note of your name...oops.) Anyway, I thought of that other tournament she played in California where the entire crowd was booing her the entire time and someone also was shouting the N-word throughout the match. She plowed through and won but never returned to that tournament again. Even during other tournaments, some critics have made disparaging comments about her "unprofessional/unladylike" behavior, attire, etc. I think she (and her sister, Venus) was just being herself, a strong black woman, and in doing so changed the face of tennis.
Anyway, my point is, there are just some people who are not willing or able to accept differences in others - whether that be a difference in race, sexual orientation, nationality, religion, creed, political affiliation, or a mere difference in perspective. I can certainly try to inform and explain myself to others but change who I am to make other people feel more comfortable with me? I dunno. I have serious reservations about doing this and certainly doubt its efficacy.
I've come to terms with the fact that I'm just not as demure, shy, nor prim as a good Asian lady should be. While I certainly don't want to be an overtly offensive person, I don't think being an assertive and proud woman unwilling to compromise my ethical standards is a bad thing. I can understand that people and cultures operate differently but I don't think I need to adopt those standards (or lack thereof) myself. I mean, there is a way to bridge that gap without losing yourself, isn't there?
You see, I spent the past two years in Korea as a middle-aged graduate student. During this time, I faced a lot of difficult but interesting (and ultimately educational) challenges during my time here. I'll share some of those misadventures at a later time...
Back to today's musing. After expressing some of my frustration with my apparent inability to fully integrate into the society here, my parents offered me some...interesting advice. I need to change who I am. If I try hard enough, you can make anyone and everyone accept you.
I would have to disagree. I don't think you can nor should behave differently just so others accept you because if you're not being true to who you are, are those people really accepting YOU? And some people are just not able or ready to accept differences in others. In the midst of this discussion with my parents, the US Open Tennis tournament was playing on TV and Serena Williams was battling it out with some skinny white girl (sorry, I didn't take note of your name...oops.) Anyway, I thought of that other tournament she played in California where the entire crowd was booing her the entire time and someone also was shouting the N-word throughout the match. She plowed through and won but never returned to that tournament again. Even during other tournaments, some critics have made disparaging comments about her "unprofessional/unladylike" behavior, attire, etc. I think she (and her sister, Venus) was just being herself, a strong black woman, and in doing so changed the face of tennis.
Anyway, my point is, there are just some people who are not willing or able to accept differences in others - whether that be a difference in race, sexual orientation, nationality, religion, creed, political affiliation, or a mere difference in perspective. I can certainly try to inform and explain myself to others but change who I am to make other people feel more comfortable with me? I dunno. I have serious reservations about doing this and certainly doubt its efficacy.
I've come to terms with the fact that I'm just not as demure, shy, nor prim as a good Asian lady should be. While I certainly don't want to be an overtly offensive person, I don't think being an assertive and proud woman unwilling to compromise my ethical standards is a bad thing. I can understand that people and cultures operate differently but I don't think I need to adopt those standards (or lack thereof) myself. I mean, there is a way to bridge that gap without losing yourself, isn't there?
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